I've been writing my "book" in my head and at one time on computer for years now. I'm 47 years old and a mother of 2 girls; my oldest is 22 and Autistic, my youngest is 17 and has ADHD and depression. I am also Bipolar. Gasp!  Eek!  OMG!  The stigma associated with having a mental illness is ridiculous, to say the least... especially when you are a healthcare professional. Did I forget to mention I am also a Registered Nurse?  RN = Registered Nut. I was involuntarily committed twice when I was first diagnosed.  I lost custody of my children because of my illness. My life spiraled down into the deepest, darkest abyss that one can ever imagine as I wallowed around on short term disability for almost a year after being released from the hospital the second time.  But I crawled (literally) out of that hole and managed to find work as a nurse again.  2 years after that I suffered a massive heart attack and required cardiac bypass surgery to fix it.  And I was out on disability for 2 more years while my beat up body refused to heal. But God is good... again I got up, went back to work and persevered.

My story is a long one... how to mother a special needs child who ends up with cancer.  How to mother her sibling who didn't understand why all the attention was focused on her sister.  How to deal with major depression while trapped in a farce of a marriage- and how to end said marriage.  And how to find love again after losing all of my so called "friends".

Every day to me is a "New Day".  Will today be the day that I finally find a job where I am appreciated and not berated for being "old and slow"?  Will today be the day that my sister decides to forgive me for perceived wrongs I have committed against her?  I have to have faith that God is truly directing my steps and calling all the shots... I am at His mercy in all aspects of my life.  Will today be the day that my brother finally goes back to work?  I can only pray... one day at a time.